Tuesday, November 08, 2011. It was a long day for both me and my husband. We woke up at 5:50 AM because my husband was doing a morning shift that day. On the days like this I usually wake up with him, make him breakfast, see him to the door and go back to bed. But that morning I had a DR appointment at 10AM. So I decided there was no point in going back to bed. So I stayed awake.
10 AM Here I am at the DR. She checks me….and I am sill at 1cm! I am 2 days past my due date and no progress. So she schedules an induction for me for November 14th. Oh man, I am so disappointed at this point. I don’t want to be induced. I know that in case of an induction the contractions are artificial which means they are much more painful. And there is also often a risk of C-section. Witch I don’t want either.
16:30 My husband gets back home from work. We spend the evening watching TV and having supper.
22:00 We go to bed.
11:15PM I wake up feeling a huge gulp of warm liquid coming from inside me. I wake my husband up saying: “Honey, wake up, my water has just broken”. We both jump out of bed. (I wish I could see our eyes at that moment). I jump in the shower. Vitali calls a taxi. Everything is already ready to go to the hospital but we both start running around the house trying to figure out what to do and what to take with us. My husband takes the sheets off the bed and hangs them to dry them up (they were all wet because of the waters broken. I am all shivering…scared, nervous but excited. Then we get in the taxi. Feels like the ride to the hospital is taking forever. The water is still coming out. I am all wet: my boots, my jeans, everything.
We walk in the hospital, get registered. Then they take me into a small room, make me sit in a chair and monitor my contractions for 15 or 20 minutes. (Oh, common people, let me get these wet pants off). Then they realise the monitor is not working properly, they readjust the settings and make me wait again. 15 more minutes later they come in and say: “Your contractions are very irregular. Let us check if your waters really broke. If not we will have to send you home”. SERIOUSLY? Don’t you see I am ALL soaking wet??? They check me and yes, my water has broken but I am still 1cm.
Then they move us to the delivery room. They suggest to start the IV right away to stimulate the contractions. But I prefer waiting another couple of hours to see if they start on their own. We wait. I feel the contractions but it doesn’t hurt. On the opposite, feels like fun.
November 9, 2011
3AM They say my contractions are still not strong enough so they have to put me on Pitocin. Oh well. (NOTE: I really hoped for a drug-free delivery: no epidural, no other drugs).
5AM Contractions are getting more and more powerful. But I am still able to talk at this point . My husband is napping in the chair next to me.
6AM Ok, it’s getting difficult to deal with the contractions on my own. And I am frustrated with my husband who is still sleeping. How can he sleep so peacefully when I am in so much pain? So I wake him up and ask him to massage my back during the contractions. They are already 2 minutes apart at this point.
7AM My DR comes to see me. She was on call at the hospital that night but now her shift is over. She is asking me: “So, are you gonna take the epidural?”.
- No-no. I told you, I don’t want any epidural.
- OK, you’ll see how it goes. But I think, you should just take it.
I was pretty much dissapointed with her attitude. I thought the DR should support the patient whatever decision he makes.
And I really don’t want an epidural! I really hope to do it on my own.
7:30 AM I can no longer stay in bed. So I get up and start trying different positions (walking, standing, leaning on the wall and on my husband, squat position, on the nursing ball), breathing technics, we play the music, I read my affirmations. The contractions last for 60 sec and are 2 min apart. And Oh boy, does it hurt!!!! The easiest for me is to stand and lean on the table. My husband continues to massage me. But it’s not helping any more, even making it worse. So I ask him to stop. He doesn’t know how to help me at this point. He is nervous. He starts eating everything we brought as snacks: apple puree, snack bars,cheese… And it’s pissing me off to be honest. But I say nothing.
In my head I’m saying to myself: “Lucky men! They don’t have to feel such pain!”, “This is my first baby and the last one. That’s it. Never again”, “I can not do this any more. Should I take an epidural?” I start panicking. I wish I could just say: “Ok, stop all this. Let’s continue tomorrow”. But I know I can’t stop this. I am in LABOR! I can’t turn it back. I have to do it. But I just don’t get rest between the contractions. I don’t feel strong any more. I feel like crying. I just want somebody to feel sorry for me. But I say nothing to my husband. I know it’s very difficult for him. He doesn’t know what I feel. But he can definitely see it. So I just say nothing. Besides, I literally have no time for this! There is no break between the contractions and I am not able to say anything during the contractions.
11AM. I REALLY CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE!!!!!!!
I ask to check if there is any progress. I feel like I am ready to give birth. I feel the baby really low. They check me. And I am …….. 3,5 cm only!!!! OMG! They say the most important is to get to 4cm, after that it usually goes 1cm every hour. Which means it will take me another 7 hours MINIMUM!!!
OK. GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
11:15. The anesthesiologist is on his way. I can not endure such pain any longer. I feel like I’m gonna die at every contraction. Waiting for my epidural feels like forever.
The anesthesiologist is finally here. I get my epidural. Everything goes great. Thanks GOD! I open my eyes and I see my husband crying. He can’t see me suffer from such pain.
They put me in bed, attach all the monitors, the tubes with the medication. And I can now relax!!!
Oh, it feels much better every minute.
12PM. I feel great! I am in love with life again. And I am hungry. So I send my husband off to get something to eat.
13:00 We have lunch. And then my husband falls asleep in his reclining chair. And he sleeps till like 3PM. I try to get some rest and sleep too. But they come and check on me every 30 minutes or so. So I’m staying awake.
16:30 I am bleeding a lot . Actually too much. It means the placenta has already started to detach. Wich is not good for the baby – not enough oxygen. I have to deliver ASAP but I am not fully dilated yet. They say I am at a risk of getting a C-section. They even get everything ready for the surgery. Oh, God knows how much I don’t want C-section. I start praying. I breathe and think of my baby. I think I am sending the oxygen to my baby helping him to breathe.
17:30 PM. I ask Vitali’s mom to come. I need to distract myself. I need to talk to a WOMAN who understands what I am going through.
My back hurts of staying in bed for so long. I am having a fever. I feel tired and very thirsty.
18:00. Vitali’s mom is here. Contractions are back. They decreased the epidural so that I would feel the contractions when pushing. I feel ready to deliver. They check me and my body is still not ready. Oh, GOD, please please please!!!! I didn’t go through all of that to get C-section.
19:00. The baby’s heartbeat is unstable. He is suffering but keeps fighting. What a strong baby! They check me….an I AM READY!!!! Thank GOD!!!!!!
19:30 PM. I start pushing. I know I have to deliver fast. So that the baby doesn’t get tired. So I push very hard. They even say I am very good at pushing. I think my husband was impressed too. He told me after that I looked so concentrated! I looked like I knew exactly what to do!
It was actually the best part of the labor. I really enjoyed feeling my baby coming down. But it was also the longest part! Those 30 minutes felt like forever.
20:10 Baby Ivan is born. They pass me that little blue body. Where did this little person come from? Is this my baby? Am I a mother now? Is this my son?
Yes, thoughts like that were in my head. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. My husband told me my eyes were pretty crazy when I saw the baby! I remember my feeling as well. It’s totally indescribable!!!!!!!!!
It’s a miraculous baby! So healthy and so strong!!!!
Apgar score: 8/8/8
- Evan’s Birth Story (mindofmandi.wordpress.com)