Baby Ivan’s birth

Tuesday, November 08, 2011. It was a long day for  both me and my husband. We woke up at 5:50 AM  because my husband was doing  a morning shift that day. On the days like this I usually wake up with him, make him breakfast, see him to the door and go back to bed. But that morning I had a DR appointment at 10AM. So I decided there was no point in going back to bed. So I stayed awake.

10 AM Here I am at the DR. She checks me….and I am sill at 1cm! I am 2 days past my due date and no progress. So she schedules an induction for me for November 14th. Oh man, I am so disappointed at this point.  I don’t want to be induced. I know that in case of an induction the contractions are artificial which means they are much more painful. And there is also often  a risk of C-section. Witch I don’t want either.

16:30 My husband gets back home from work.  We spend the evening watching TV and having supper.

22:00 We go to bed.

11:15PM I wake up feeling a huge gulp of warm liquid coming from inside me. I wake my husband up saying: “Honey, wake up, my water has just broken”.  We both jump out of bed. (I wish I could see our eyes at that moment). I jump in the shower. Vitali calls a taxi. Everything is already ready to go to the hospital but we both start running around the house trying to figure out what to do and what to take with us. My husband takes the sheets off the bed and hangs them to dry them up (they were all wet  because of the waters broken. I am all shivering…scared, nervous but excited. Then we get in the taxi. Feels like the ride to the hospital is taking forever.  The water is still coming out. I am all wet: my boots, my jeans, everything.

We walk in the hospital, get registered. Then they take me into a small room, make me sit in a chair and monitor my contractions for 15 or 20 minutes. (Oh, common people, let me get these wet pants off). Then they realise the monitor is not working properly, they readjust the settings and make me wait again. 15 more minutes later they come in and say: “Your contractions are very irregular. Let us check if your waters really broke. If not we will have to send you home”. SERIOUSLY? Don’t you see I am ALL soaking wet??? They check me and yes, my water has broken but I am still 1cm.

Then they move us to the delivery room. They suggest to start the IV right away to stimulate the contractions. But I prefer waiting  another couple of hours to see if they start on their own. We wait. I feel the contractions but it doesn’t hurt. On the opposite, feels like fun.

(Still having fun and hoping for a quick and easy labor….Naive!)  

November 9, 2011

3AM They say my contractions are still not strong enough so they have to put me on Pitocin. Oh well.  (NOTE: I really hoped for a drug-free delivery: no epidural, no other drugs).

5AM Contractions are getting more and more powerful. But I am still able to talk at this point . My husband is napping in the chair next to me.

6AM Ok, it’s getting difficult to deal with the contractions on my own. And I am frustrated with my husband who is still  sleeping. How can he sleep so peacefully when I am in so much pain? So I wake him up and ask him to massage my back during the contractions. They are already 2 minutes apart at this point.

7AM My DR comes to see me. She was on call at the hospital that night but now her shift is over. She is asking me: “So, are you gonna take the epidural?”.

- No-no. I told you, I don’t want any epidural.

- OK, you’ll see how it goes. But I think, you should just take it.

I was pretty much dissapointed with her attitude. I thought the DR should support the patient whatever decision he makes.
And I really don’t want an epidural! I really hope to do it on my own.

7:30 AM I can no longer stay in bed. So I get up and start trying different positions (walking, standing, leaning on the wall and on my husband, squat position, on the nursing ball), breathing technics, we play the music, I read my affirmations. The contractions last for 60 sec and are 2 min apart. And Oh boy, does it hurt!!!! The easiest for me is to stand and lean on the table. My husband continues to massage me. But it’s not helping any more, even making it worse. So I ask him to stop. He doesn’t know how to help me at this point. He is nervous. He starts eating everything we brought as snacks: apple puree, snack bars,cheese… And it’s pissing me off to be honest. But I say nothing.

In my head I’m saying to myself: “Lucky men! They don’t have to feel such pain!”, “This is my first baby and the last one. That’s it. Never again”, “I can not do this any more. Should I take an epidural?” I start panicking. I wish I could just say: “Ok, stop all this. Let’s continue tomorrow”. But I know I can’t stop this. I am in LABOR! I can’t turn it back. I have to do it. But I just don’t get rest between the contractions. I don’t feel strong any more. I feel like crying. I just want somebody to feel sorry for me.    But I say nothing to my husband. I know it’s very difficult for him. He doesn’t know what I feel. But he can definitely see it. So I just say nothing. Besides, I literally have no time for this! There is no break between the contractions and I am not able to say anything during the contractions.

11AM.  I REALLY CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE!!!!!!!

I ask to check if there is any progress. I feel like I am ready to give birth. I feel the baby really low.  They check me. And I am …….. 3,5 cm only!!!! OMG! They say the most important is to get to 4cm, after that it usually goes 1cm every hour. Which means it will take me another 7 hours MINIMUM!!!

OK. GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

11:15. The anesthesiologist is on his way. I can not endure such pain any longer. I feel like I’m gonna die at every contraction. Waiting for my epidural feels like forever.
The anesthesiologist is finally here. I get my epidural. Everything goes great. Thanks GOD! I open my eyes and I see my husband crying. He can’t see me suffer from such pain.

They put me in bed, attach all the monitors, the  tubes with the medication. And I can now relax!!!
Oh, it feels much better every minute.

12PM. I feel great! I am in love with life again. And I am hungry. So I send my husband off to get something to eat.

13:00 We have lunch. And then my husband falls asleep in his reclining chair. And he sleeps till like 3PM.  I try to get some rest and sleep too. But they come and check  on me every 30 minutes or so. So I’m staying awake.

16:30 I am bleeding a lot . Actually too much. It means the placenta has already started to detach. Wich is not good for the baby – not enough oxygen. I have to deliver ASAP but I am not fully dilated yet. They say I am at a risk of getting a C-section. They even get everything ready for the surgery. Oh, God knows how much I don’t want C-section. I start praying. I breathe and think of my baby. I think I am sending the oxygen to my baby helping him to breathe.

17:30 PM. I ask Vitali’s mom to come. I need to distract myself. I need to talk to a WOMAN who understands what I am going through.

My back hurts of staying in bed for so long. I am having a fever. I feel tired and very thirsty.

18:00. Vitali’s mom is here. Contractions are back. They decreased the epidural so that I would feel the contractions when pushing. I feel ready to deliver. They check me and my body is still not ready. Oh, GOD, please please please!!!! I didn’t go through all of that to get C-section.

19:00. The baby’s heartbeat is unstable. He is suffering but keeps fighting. What a strong baby! They check me….an I AM READY!!!! Thank GOD!!!!!!

19:30 PM. I start pushing. I know I have to deliver fast. So that the baby doesn’t get tired. So I push very hard. They even say I am very good at pushing. I think my husband was impressed too. He told me after that I looked so concentrated! I looked like I knew exactly what to do!

It was actually the best part of the labor. I really enjoyed feeling my baby coming down. But it was also the longest part! Those   30 minutes felt like forever.

20:10 Baby Ivan is born. They pass me that little blue body. Where did this little person come from? Is this my baby?  Am I a mother now? Is this my son?

Yes, thoughts like that were in my head. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. My husband told me my eyes were pretty crazy when I saw the baby! I remember my feeling as well. It’s totally indescribable!!!!!!!!!

It’s a miraculous baby! So healthy and so strong!!!!

Apgar score: 8/8/8

Weight: 3762g

Length: 55cm

Related articles

• Evan’s Birth Story (mindofmandi.wordpress.com)

40 weeks. Still pregnant

I am 40 weeks. My due date is TODAY! But still no signs of going into labor soon. I am trying to stay active: I try to take a walk every day, I live the “full” life with my husband, move a lot around the house. I even danced last night in front of the mirror to seduce my baby with the music, to show him how fun it is over here. Nothing helps!

Before I thought that it was possible to “set” your mind on a certain date for giving birth. It works, for example, when you need to wake up at a certain hour and if you tell this to yourself the day before, you’ll wake up just before your alarm clock goes off. Now I realise that in case of giving birth – this doesn’t work!!! It’s the BABY who decides when to come out! It’s as if the baby knew that that’s the parents who are gonna be taking major decisions for her for the next…what? 18 years.So now the baby is like: “Well, at least let ME decide what date and what time to be born!”. Oh well…Patience to all pregnant women!!!

38 weeks. Preparing for the childbirth. Affirmations for labor.

Hello baby!

Good news! We went to see our DR today. We are 38 weeks and 3 days. And mommy is 1 cm dilated. Your position is nice, head down, ready for being born! It doesn’t exactly mean that you will definitely arrive in the next couple of days. It’s all individual and might take another week or two. But it’s the beginning! It might start any minute now.

No stress, no panic! We  are totally ready for your arrival!

- Your room is ready

- My hospital bag is ready

- Your clothes and cloth diapers are washed and ironed

- My music list for labor is ready. It’s mostly Enya. We listened to this music during the prenatal classes. So I associate it with labor and relaxation. 

- And the most important! My body and mind have a positive attitude towards the natural birth.Everybody keeps asking me if I am scared about the labor. I AM NOT! I never was. I told to myself at the beginning of my pregnancy that my baby’s birth will be calm, smooth and confident. I am more than ready for the labor. I am even looking forward to experiencing the pain of contractions and childbearing. I am not a masochist. It’s just that I am not afraid of pain. I know that the labor pain is a healthy pain. And every contraction will bring you closer to me.The pain is a good sign of the progress.

I have also prepared a list of affirmations that will help me during labor.

For the contractions:

I am strong and capable woman!

Birth comes easy to me. I am open to the energy of birth!

I am focused on a smooth easy birth!

I trust my body to know what it is to do!

My mind is relaxed. My body is relaxed!

Breathe!!!!

My breath is easy, deep and full!

Welcome the pain! Welcome the baby! 

I am relaxed and happy that my baby is finally coming to me!

Talk to the baby!

Give the baby some space. Take a comfortable position (on a birth ball, on a chair, in a squat…)!

Visualise my cervix opening and easing the baby down!

I relax and we move quickly and easily through each stage of birth!

For the stage of birth:

Breathe the baby down!

Direct my breath to the birth path and to my baby!

Visualise my vagina opening like the petals of a rose, allowing to baby to easily come down!

I see my baby coming smoothly from my womb!

See you soon!!!

Things to do!!!

Hello baby Ivan!

I feel the Grand Day is approaching. Even though my due date is November 6th, I think you will make your grand entrance earlier than that.

Lately in my dreams I’ve been seeing myself with a big tommy (well, like in reality). In one of the dreams I was in a magical forest. It was so sunny, the grass and the trees were all green and there were a lot of mushrooms and dandelions. I remember myself trying to run but it was quite difficult with such a tommy. I had to hold it with my hands…Anyways, in all of my recent dreams I was pregnant!

But last night I was a catwalk model. I was so skinny!!! And I was about to demonstrate a dress. It was a white lacy dress. Beautiful!!! But at the very last minute the changed me into a black leather jacket and a skirt with some kind of grayish sheepskin inserts….At that same moment I woke up.

Anyways, my point is that I think my mind is already sending a signal to the body that it’s time!!!

***

It’s also becoming more and more difficult for me to carry such a big bump. Especially when I walk. Sometimes I would feel like a cramp or a spasm at the very bottom of my abdomen. It’s your head pinching the nerves. And because you are already very low in my belly I sometimes feel like carrying a bowling ball in between my legs

***

So Here is the list of things I still have to do before the BIG DAY!

- Do one more shopping trip (buy some extra crib sheets and swaddling blankets)

- Wash and iron all your clothes

- Pre-wash your cloth diapers (3 times!!!)

- Buy a new washing machine

- Go see my nutritionist

- Do one more class “Preparing for labor” at the Montreal Diet Dispensary 

- Pack for the hospital

- Get my haircut

Well, these are only the most urgent things to do. And then I have another huge list. Believe me, your mommy ALWAYS has things to do!!!

My birthplan

Irina Shakhova birthplan

Mother-to-be: Irina Shakhova	Partner: Vitali Morozov
Practitioner: Dr. Tchervenkov	Place of Birth: St. Mary’s Hospital

 

This birth plan is not meant to be rigid. I am happy to change it, after discussion with you, if there are problems with my labour.

First Stage (Labor):

• Dim lights.
• Peace and Quiet.
• Would prefer NOT to have students, residents etc.
• Maintain mobility (Walking, rocking, up to bathroom, etc.)
• Eat and drink to comfort.
• Intermittent monitoring with external monitor.
• Please do not offer me pain medications, I will ask for them if I want them.
• Relaxation techniques (breathing, focusing, etc.).
• Positioning as desired.
• Water (Shower or Tub).
• Massage (back, foot, counter pressure, etc.).
• Ultra low dose epidural (walking epidural) ON DEMAND ONLY!!!

***

Second Stage (Birth):

• Choice of position (on my side on the bed)
• Directed Bearing Down
• Foot pedals
• I would prefer no episiotomy, but please use compresses, massage and positioning.
• Local Anesthesia (for repair)

***

Baby Care:

• Delay the eye medication
• Breast feeding only (if possible)
• No separation of Mother & Baby

***

Sick Baby:

• Breast feeding as soon as possible
• Unlimited visitation for parents

36 weeks. Home photoshoot

34 weeks. Looking forward to a brand new life.

Hello sweetie!

We are 34 weeks pregnant!

The weather is very nice. It’s sunny and 25 degrees outside. September has been very warm and pleasant.

So we have one more month till your grand arrival! Even though my due date is November 6th, I would love you to come a couple of weeks in advance. I know it feels great in my tommy. But that would be much easier for your mommy if you were a little smaller.  

On the other hand, it feels a little weird the fact that soon we are gonna be 3. It’s unbelievably too soon. I mean we still don’t actually realise that very soon there is gonna be somebody else in the house. We are both very excited, we want you more than anything. And we can certainly realise I am pregnant,that something is gonna change after. The question is WHAT?  We are used to certain things now: that my belly is big and it’s actually alive; that I can not eat certain food; that I can’t lift heavy things; that I can get tired very easily; that I am very fragile physically and emotionally as well, etc… All these things are like facts now. BUT  We just can not imagine ourselves holding a little person in our hands, taking care of another human. We are looking forward to it BUT we don’t know what to expect, what to wait for. Do you understand what I mean? The other day I was imagining us coming back home from the hospital with you. And then in my thoughts I got confused. It was like: “Ok, here I am…coming home from the hospital…opening the door…putting my hospital bag down…daddy comes in with a car seat in his hands…I am taking off my coat….and then….mmm…wait a minute…Ok, so what do we do next?” I could not even imagine what would go next. I know once we enter our apartment with you in our hands, we will enter a brand new life at the same time.   

Baby shower!

Hello baby!

Forgot to tell ya. Last Sunday we threw a baby shower party. We invited all daddy’s friends. And as there were supposed to be around 25 people we decided it would be easier to do it at the restaurant. So we chose a BYOW restaurant and provided the wine.
It was fun! The food was great. The place was nice. The service was excellent. 

 And the best part was our presents!!! Well, ok, your presents! But we got to open them!!!

 Oh, we can not tell how thankful we are to our friends for such great presents! It’s been extremely helpful!

Here we are! The very happy parents-to-be!

And here are the best gifts we got: a stroller and a crib mattress!

The full list of your gifts:

- stroller and car seat

- crib mattress

- bottle warmer

- waterproof changing pad

- some clothes

- blanket

- humidifier

- play mat ( I’m gonna change that for another one)

- 2 feeding chairs (not exactly the one i wanted but we’ll try them out. Decided to keep both. We’ll just bring one to daddy’s grandparents so that you could eat there in your chair when visiting)

- 3!!!! bouncers. (Well, we’ll have to return two of them to the store)

- gold neck chain! (that’s a weird gift in my opinion) 

- baby bath (sorry, but I will exchange it as well)
- diaper cake

- Jordan snickers

- some toys

- 2 grooming and healthcare kits

 - baby wipes

- and some cash!

Need to buy just a few more things and we are all set. 

Perineal massage.

We are approaching the 34th week. And it’s about time to start getting ready for the labor. Mentally, physically and emotionally.

So what have we done so far?

1. We are taking the prenatal course which covers all the aspects of the process of labor: dos and don’ts, how to cope with the pain, how the partner could help during delivery, etc… It also gives us an information on what to expect after the delivery:  how to take care of the newborn and how to cope with the postpartum depression. And another big subject of the course is breastfeeding. 

2. We’ve also been working on decorating the bedroom for our little one.

3. We’ve been talking a lot about going into labor. Discussing the birth plan. And also preparing ourselves emotionally for the beginning of a new life!!! 

4. And needless to say how important it is to start working on my attitude and my body to make the delivery as easy as possible for all of us: for my baby, my husband, the doctor and myself. Of course,  a lot will depend on my attitude towards labor. I mean, the mood and my emotional state in which I will go into labor (will I be tense or relaxed, worried and scared or confident that everything would go fast and smooth) . But a lot will also depend on my body and it’s capabilities.  So in terms of body preparation, it’s important to stay physically active (walking, prenatal exercises  and yoga).  And besides,  the beginning of the 8th month is the perfect time to meet my perineum and start giving myself the perineal massage  .

What is the Perineum?

The perineum is the area of skin between your vagina and rectum.

What is the perineal massage?

Perineal massage is the gentle stretching and massaging of the skin between the anus and vagina (perineum) during the last few weeks of pregnancy. This massage has been shown to reduce the incidence of episiotomy and perineal tears during birth.

What are the benefits of the perineal massage?

• Perineum becomes more elastic and as a result reduces the possibility of perineal tearing or an episiotomy.
• Prepares you for the feelings of pressure and stretching when your baby’s head starts to crown. Having an idea of what these sensations are like enables you to relax and as a result this can lead to a quicker birth. Tension will delay your baby’s descent.
• Perineal massage during labor helps to ease the tissues around the baby’s head as it is crowning and clearly benefits both mother and child. This area is very sensitive during the birth so it is often more helpful for the mother to use perineal massage during this time.

Massage techniques:

• Wash your hands and find a relaxing place to do the massage (bathroom, bedroom, where ever you are comfortable)
• Sit in a comfortable position. (A warm bath or warm compresses on the perineum for 10 minutes before massage may help with relaxation.)
• Put a water-soluble lubricant (KY Jelly, etc.) olive oil, vegetable oil or Vitamin E oil on thumbs and perineum.
• Place thumb just inside of the vagina.
• Press downward towards the rectum and to the sides at the same time until a very slight burning, stinging, or tingling sensation is felt
• Hold the pressure for about 1-2 minutes
• Breathe deeply and slowly and try to consciously relax the muscles.
• Keep pressing down with the thumb and slowly and gently massage back and forth over the sides of the vagina in a ‘U’ movement for 3 minutes.
• Relax and repeat once.

This massage technique is performed 10 minutes daily beginning at week 34.

Are there any cautions when performing perineal massage?

• Avoid pressure on the urethra (at the top of the vaginal opening).
• Massage gently! Vigorous massage could cause bruising or swelling
• Do not massage if you have an active vaginal infection or herpes lesions.

This massage technique helped my friend from France who has just had a baby. And I hope it will help me as well. Coz oh boy,  I really do not want any stitches and I really want to get back to my normal sexual life with my husband as soon as possible:))))

Related articles:

Perineal massage.

2nd ultrasound

Hello baby!

We went for the 2nd and the last ultrasound a couple of days ago. So here are the results:

- Your position is head down. Which is good.

- All your organs looked great.

- You heart rate was perfect.

- And the most important you already weight 2,3 kg. Which is slightly more than an average weight for a baby at 33 weeks. So at birth you should be around 3,5-3,7 kg.

Oh, I feel so relieved. Mommy is so happy that her baby is in a good condition. You are a strong and healthy baby!

We also saw your face! You are so cute!!!! Even the doctor said that you are a very handsome baby!

And we saw your private parts. And these were definitely boy’s private parts.

And then you demonstrated us how active you are. You kicked yourself in your forehead with your foot. Ouch, that must have hurt, babe! Then my tommy started dancing from one side to another like crazy. The doctor was like: ” holy moly. It’s a very active baby”.

Well, thanks babe for the entertainment! I can not wait to meet you and see this cute face!

Love you!

This is me the day after the ultrasound.